This has turned into a crappy day. It didn't have much of a chance because it's Saturday and I hate my Saturday job. Today was when my former boss put out his 5th anniversary issue of the paper. I was there at the beginning, and I was there four and a half years, and whatever "success" he's had has been on the backs of probably a dozen or so workers that he managed to exploit and make promises to, and break them, until they couldn't do it any more and quit. Happy 5th anniversary indeed.
It is possible that Little Chick will get out of the hospital on Monday. During the week I can only see her by setting up an appointment to visit, and because of this, and because I'm still working those 12 hour days (I just cut way back on sleep.) I didn't schedule a visit over the weekend. I'm not even certain that I could. But suddenly Maury was all, "Oh, if there's even a chance, we need to be up there, no matter what." It's also an hour and a half's drive one way, and half a tank of gas to get there and back.
This was at the very beginning of the delivery schedule this morning. So that made me feel about an inch tall, standing on a giant podium so that someone could award me my WORST MOTHER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE award.
I was successfully avoiding my parents the whole week, because, well, because frankly I can't stand them, but my dad stopped by this morning before we went to work so he could drop off a magazine. He asked about Little Chick, and I was very evasive about it.
My parents are both the kinds of people who have never been sick a day in their lives, and they've been married for 157 years, and they simply write off people who are sick, or hurt, or divorced as possessing a weak character. I just can't deal with that at the moment, since I'm not only guilty about working 12 hours a day, but now I'm guilty for not insisting that the hospital schedule me time to see L.C. today or tomorrow. We do talk on the phone every night, so it isn't like we've cut off contact. I'm just so freakin' tired.
5 comments:
You ARE NOT a bad mother, not even close.
You are human, life goes on regardless, and interferring idiots do their best to make life harder for you.
I can fully appreciate family not being understanding. I am basically pretty much useless for working, but as far as some of my family is concerned I am just being a sook. Meanwhile I can't even hang out washing and do floors. Doctors orders.
Hang in there, you know the truth, and everyone else can taking a running leap off cliff.
DD, you totally rock. Thank you.
I think I would avoid your parents, too.
You have to do what you have to do, Mary. And what DD said.
I am so sorry things are going this badly.
I wish I could say something more to make you feel better but all I can say is I think you deserve better.
*big hugs* I hope she comes home today.
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